I am going to make this one short and sweet, I’m going to list off five things that made nursing easy for me, on my third -and final- breastfeeding journey. I think the word 'easy' is relative, for some people something is easy but the same thing for another person, it is hard, nursing was hard for me with my first two kids. With the third one, I was much more prepared and very determined, so it became easy. But only because I had the tools that I needed, and was able to push through challenges and became a certified breastfeeding specialist beforehand.
Here's the summary if you don't have the time to read through-
Prepared mentally and educated myself on how to address challenges like shallow latch for example
Prepared with colostrum and avoiding the top up trap - I kept NO formula in my house
Setting small goals. One feed at a time!
Did not stress over constant weighted feeds. Watched diaper output and to see if baby was satisfied.
Stayed home, denied visitors, just spent time with the baby.
Please note- if you have intense challenges like oral ties or things of a more 'can't solve at home' nature, PLEASE get some guidance from a lactation professional. They're here to help!
I think the first thing was that I prepared mentally. I knew what things could go wrong and how to address them. For example, I knew how to make a latch wider and deeper, if the baby had a shallow latch. Mine actually did, so that was one of the things that I dealt with. I also knew how to spot hunger cues well before they became screeching, because a screaming baby is a lot more difficult to latch then a calmer baby who is just starting to suggest that they are maybe hungry. That is something that I really wish I knew the first two, because I waited until they cried and became very difficult to latch. I actually looked back on older videos of my babies and I can see all the hunger cues that I was so blatantly missing, that I can identify now after five years of being a mom.
The second thing was that I had actual physical tools. In addition to mental tools, I had manually expressed colostrum before delivery, and I had that on hand at home to avoid formula supplementation and falling into the "top up trap". The top of trap is where you nurse the baby, but they still seem to be hungry (cluster feeding, just keep latching!), you think that maybe you don’t have more milk (which is so often not the case) so you offer formula, and then they take the formula instead of latching to signal more milk is needed, and it negatively affects your milk production. It becomes a cycle that rapidly diminishes your milk supply. I fell into that trap with my first baby, I actually had no idea it was a thing.
So not only did I have stored colostrum at home, but in the hospital after delivery, I used a manual pump and an electric pump between nursing sessions to express a little bit more and cup feed the baby to keep him calm so that he could latch much easier. Cup feeding and spoon feeding typically does not develop any kind of flow preference like using a bottle can in some babies. Commonly referred to as 'nipple confusion', but really it boils down to "the flow from the bottle gets me more milk faster so I prefer that over the natural slower flow of the nipple."
Another thing I did (this was a completely personal choice and some others may not agree with it), is I had absolutely zero formula in the house. I only did this because with the first two kids when I had it on hand for just in case, it was brought out when it should not have been. I was offered a can by the same family members who pushed it on me the first two times, and I politely declined and said I would get rid of (donate, not throw away!) any formula that was given to me. They did not give me any more. I was fortunate enough to not need it, the first baby I actually was told by the nurse in the hospital that “ maybe I ran out of milk “because the baby did not want to stop latching on the second night, turns out that’s completely normal and she just had no idea. That is just something that they do on the second day, it’s called the second night syndrome and all they want to do is cluster feed and be held.
Some backstory, feel free to skip if you don't want to hear my story and personal opinion~
While some family members are very well meaning in 'stocking up' on supplies for my kids, here's what happened with the formula with baby number one. That was an item that was brought over for us for 'just in case something happened' but it was really a sly play to ensure that they would be able to take over feeding my baby. Perhaps not entirely malicious, but when I say that was brought up CONSTANTLY I do mean constantly. In fact, my baby was taken from me every single time she cried (we lived with family so I couldn't escape it) and they told me it was my milk, something I was eating, etc. I did not know any better and believed them. I allowed them to take over, when they misinformed me that unless I wanted to cut out all bread, dairy, vegetables, caffeine, basically every single food because they said that was causing her to cry, I would "have to feed formula because its better for her stomach". Again I was completely misinformed, that is not true in the slightest, and I found that out later on before I had my second baby. I felt betrayed, lied to, and taken advantage of. In my opinion, that formula was put there on purpose for that reason. Because then they could take her all the time and feed her (and overfeed her) without needing me in the middle. Let me clarify further my children have not had any type of intolerances or allergies of ANY kind, strictly the standard 'newborn baby gas and cluster feeding.'
Continued backstory for when I had the second baby, I was a little more educated. I knew that it was normal for babies to cry. They spend 9 months in the dark, warm, and constantly satisfied without needing to eat, and now they're cold, it's bright, and they're hungry. They naturally get gas because their digestive systems are immature and it just HAPPENS. It only lasts a little short amount of time. Now I said that I knew that, but that family member the formula pusher did not. She asserted herself again and actually convinced my husband (because I said no) to "just try it!" because the baby was crying, she assumed it was my fault again, my poison milk or whatever. What actually happened was that it made her constipated for about two days, and made her way worse. Formula is more difficult to digest than breastmilk, even the "gentle" ones. Needless to say I was absolutely pissed, and immediately got rid off all the formula cans she'd given us and told her to back off. I continued to exclusively pump for that baby for over 14 months until I had the third baby, then I pumped for her more (while nursing the baby) until she was 3. Now let me make one thing perfectly clear- I am in no way, shape, or form against formula itself as a whole. I am however, against the unneccessary use and pushing of formula. The marketing used for it is and has always been harmful, asserting it's "better" or more superior than breastmilk, when I know for 100% fact that's not true. Now in some situations it is a live saving, necessary measure to be taken, and even I was fed formula as a child and I survived just fine, but the honest truth is that breastmilk is nutritionally superior for many reasons. Please do not take this as me 'shaming' those who use formula, because that couldn't be farther from the truth. If anything I am shaming the toxic marketing that has led so many people to believe that a mother is providing subpar milk that is hurting their child. This has personally harmed me and my parenting experience. It is not the direct fault of the family member who pushed it on me- but the fault of the extremely harmful false marketing that was prevalent when she had her children over 20 years ago. If you don't believe me, please google more about it. Especially Nestle. I promise you, you will also be fuming. lol.
I think I’m onto item number three now? Anyways, pardon my rant.
Another thing that really helped was setting small goals. I didn’t look at the big picture and think about months ahead of time, I looked at today. One feed at a time, one hunger cue at a time, I watched diaper output and babies mood to see if he seem satisfied or if he seemed like he was still hungry.
Item number four is that I did not stress over constant weighted feeds. I did buy a baby scale, but only to make sure that he got back up to birthweight within two weeks after birth. I did have an induction, so a lot of the time their weight is artificially inflated after they are born because of the fluids given to mom, so I think that was a little higher than it should’ve been anyways.
-My babies have all been a tad jaundiced, each one lower than the one before them. My oldest actually needed the bili blanket at home because hers was so high, the other two were 'elevated' enough to warrant a follow up check and waking to feed to ensure they got enough milk (jaundiced babies are sleepy and miss feeds and can lose too much weight) but it passed within a few days.-
And he did make it back to birthweight within two weeks, but I knew that it would just be anxiety inducing to do weighted feeds every single time that I fed him, so I just weighed him every couple of days, if I felt like I needed to. But I was well aware of the amount of diapers he was producing each day and could tell that he was satisfied between feeds and slept like a baby. It’s funny that people say that term, because babies don’t sleep for very long.
And finally, item number five is that I stayed at home and didn’t push myself to do very much. We didn’t have any visitors, (I refused them all, I realized when I had our second baby during the pandemic and we kept people away that it was AMAZING to be alone) we stayed home and I was able to just feed on demand at any time, it’s tricky when you invite people over because then you have to deal with politely excusing yourself or clawing the baby back from someone who 'just got their turn'. It is much easier when you can have all the time in the world to get to know your new little person and manage these new skills that you have to learn immediately, and quickly.
Overall I would say the most important thing was having the knowledge of what could go wrong and how to fix it, and the knowledge of the hunger cues that I had missed with the other kids. I hope this list helps you a little bit to figure things out! You got this, mama.
Check out some of my related posts for more info on milk supply and pumping!
Teaching Motherhood runs free of ads for a clean and easy view for readers, and free for everyone always. If you have found my content helpful, tip contributions help with website upkeep, furthering education for more content, and supporting my family. Please don't feel pressured, tip culture is definitely out of hand these days, but know it's here if you wanted to. Thank you for being here!